It's a Girl!!!

We prayed "Lord use us" and left our hearts and lives open to whatever His will was....and once again, He is calling us to bring an orphan home and become her family.

In the early stages of Kian's adoption process, we became more and more aware of the staggering number of orphans and saw face after face of real live children that had no one to call their own. Our hearts softened and we became open to more children if the Lord led us to that. Even though our home study was approved for two children, the doors did not open for that to happen. When we went to China, it was to bring home only Kian; however, our adoption agency told us that if we adopted again within a year from Kian's adoption date, we could reuse our dossier...which means less paper work and therefore hopefully a somewhat quicker process.

On May 7, we saw for the first time the picture of the little girl who would someday be our daughter. We had 72 hours to make a decision before she would become available to other families. We poured over her pictures and file, and knew that we did not need 72 hours to decide. In our hearts, we knew that this 2 1/2 year old little girl was to be part of our family. So, we submitted the initial paperwork to lock her file with our family and received pre-approval from China on May 26.

From the first day of meeting this little girl, our children have been bugging us about what her name would be. They thought it took us forever to come up with a name for Kian...and it did!!!  We told them that we would have a name to announce when we got pre-approval. But one evening we were eating supper and they were again asking what her name would be. They had all kinds of reasons why they needed to know right then!! It must have been a weak moment for us because Craig and I looked at each other. He grabbed a pancake (which was what we were eating that evening) and began carving her name.

Tia QingQiao Oyler

was introduced to our children. Tia means godly or joy. QingQiao is her Chinese name which we are using for her middle name.

We would love to share a picture of this darling little girl, but for the protection of children, our agency has asked us not to share pictures on social media until we receive final approval in a few months. We would very much appreciate your prayers on our behalf as we once again embark on this journey of faith!

Kian is very excited about being a big brother! He just wishes we could bring home "all the people"(orphans)! He prays daily for Tia and all the orphans "who don't have a Baba and Mama!"

"God setteth the solitary in families..." Psalm 68:6

Six Months Later....

For those of you who followed along with us on our pre-adoption journey, and then our trip to China to bring our son home from half way around the world, I apologize for it taking so long for this update to happen. Your prayers and support are what have brought us to where we are today!! Thank you so much to all who have continued to hold us up in prayer! Let's just say that we have been having so much fun enjoying Kian that we haven't had time to blog!! He is doing so well and we can't imagine our family without him!!

In March, we took Kian to Shriner's Hospital in Chicago where a team of doctors, dentists, speech therapists, orthodontists and oral surgeons who specialize in children with cleft lip and/or palate each met with us. Then in the afternoon they met in a conference together and compiled a report of what they recommend long term for Kian's cleft situation. We are so thankful that all they are recommending for now is some speech therapy.  In a few years we may be looking at a bone grafting surgery and some orthodontics, but nothing major for now! Today Kian had his first half hour session with his speech teacher and worked on the "L" sound.

Seeing Kian go from communicating by pointing, grunting, and miming....to a few words....to phrases.....to sentences in just six months has been so exciting!! His speech is hard for most people to understand because of his palate repair, thus the need for therapy, but he understands most everything we say. And if he doesn't understand something, he is quick to ask....very inquisitive!! "What's that?" is often heard at our house these days. 

Spring and warmer weather has opened up a whole new world for Kian...riding bike, swinging, hitting a ball, playing fort with his brothers!! What most American five year olds take for granted, he is experiencing for the first time! Each day is exciting and new and he goes to bed at night exhausted!!

We feel so blessed that the Father has chosen us to be Kian's family! He is truly a treasure and gift from God!!

What If.......

What if...

...we had not prayed "Lord use us as your hands and feet"?

...our hearts and eyes had not opened to the plight of the orphans?

...we had not said "yes" to hosting a black haired, black eyed little boy?

...we had said "no" to the Spirit's prompting to adopt this little boy who tugged at our hearts?

...we had let the obstacles of finances, paperwork, and special needs loom bigger than God?

...we had not persevered through the hard moments and long waits of the adoption process?

...the very thought of leaving our four older children at home to travel half way around the world had immobilized us?


We would have missed out on......

...twenty kisses a day!

...little arms wrapped around our necks and whispered "I wub oo"'s

...contagious laughter

...dimples

...little hands tugging mine to show me his latest accomplishment

...pitter patter of little feet in our house again

...tickles and more laughter

...dark eyes looking into mine in complete trust

...most of all the peace of knowing that we are where God wants us to be, doing what God wants us to do!!!

 Lego towers - the taller the better

 Smoothered with kisses from all sides...and loving it!

 So excited to wear a belt to church like Jadrian, Preston and Baba...

the little things we take for granted!!!

Big Boots!!!

We have been home from China almost seven weeks! It is amazing how time flies! And even more amazing is how well our family has adjusted to our dear, sweet five year old and him to us! Seldom does a day go by that I don't hear someone say, "What did we ever do without him?" Wherever Kian is, there is usually sunshine and laughter.

He has had moments of grieving.... Like the day he brought his backpack to me and said, "Bye bye, airplane, bye bye." He pointed to the computer, wanting to look at pictures. So we looked at pics from our China trip and the orphanage. He cried, really sobbing at one point but was soon back to his cheerful self. I am just thankful he can express his grief and move on.

So Blessed!

This Thanksgiving Day I feel especially blessed! Blessed to have a wonderful Father who truly cares about every detail of my life....blessed to be at home with my family....blessed to have such a dear and loving husband....blessed by five wonderful children....blessed to have our newest son home with us from China....blessed by many, many dear family and friends....blessed by a year in which God has shown Himself to me like never before! Last night I was reminded that true thankfulness begins at the cross with being thankful for what Jesus did for me!

Each day it feels like Kian is just a little more settled in! I am truly amazed at how quickly and smoothly he has joined into our family and has became a part of us! He is realizing that he can trust us to meet his needs, yet he can not control us and our "no" really does mean "no"! He basks in the love and attention that the six of us lavish on him! But he is learning to appreciate time on his own doing his own thing. We love to see the delight on his face as he experiences something new....and we wonder how many of the things that we take for granted are "first times" for him and we don't even realize it. We are blessed by the joy and delight we experience each day through our five year old!!

Blessed by three wonderful sons!

The First Week Home

It is hard to believe we have already been home a week. Wow! This week has gone much faster than the previous two!! Life is taking on a new normal here in the Oyler household. We are adjusting to having a five year old again, and the five year old is doing a really good job of adjusting to us!! Kian sleeps all night every night in his bed in the room shared with his brothers. He reluctantly takes good naps. He eats pretty much anything we put in front of him....but we have noticed he really enjoys the meals we have rice!! His siblings love him dearly and he adores his siblings!! I didn't know how Monday morning would go after a weekend where most attention was devoted to him, but he did fairly well. He is somewhat of a distraction to the other children doing school, but we are working on that! We all love Kian's contagious laughter and hugs. He is such a sweetheart. To our amazement we have discovered that he can sing the ABC song. He can say his numbers up to 10 and recognizes many colors. He will copy anything we say so language development is already in progress. Our favorite thing is when he is playing and starts singing "Jesus Loves Me"  Just melts our hearts!!

 He got a carpet burn on his nose the second day home!

Male bonding! Craig was wrestling with the Jadrian and Preston....Kian was not going to be left out! 

Fri 11/14 - Home Sweet Home

We are praising the Lord! To be home again....a family of seven....together!! Today was probably the longest day of my life! Literally we lived Friday for about 35 hours with all the time changes....physically it was absolutely exhausting....emotionally it seemed forever until we finally got off the last plane and were welcomed home by our dear family and friends. And now we are praising Him to be home and together again. I know without a doubt that it was the hundreds, even thousands of prayers that ascended to the Father on our behalf that were answered and allowed our trip to go so smoothly. So thank you to each of you who petitioned Him on our behalf!!! May the Lord bless you!!! The Lord put us on this journey to bring little Kian home and He has been faithful EVERY step of the way. He has grown and stretched our faith through this like never before! And even though it has been painful at times, we are thankful!!

Waiting for his first plane ride!!

In the air at last.

We were blessed by our family and friends who were at the airport when we arrived! For Craig and I, it was such a time of joy and relief to be with those we love again. From little Kian's perspective...well I can't imagine how overwhelming it must have been to see so many faces looking right at him. Some of the faces were familiar from pictures we had showed him in preparing him for homecoming, but I am sure it was still very overwhelming. He did very well...was quiet (and not so smiley) at first, but came alive as he started batting balloons around with the other children.

And now we begin a new phase in this journey....teaching Kian about Jesus...sharing the love of a family with him....loving him even in the unlovable moments. In many ways the next few months look daunting, yet we have the confidence that He who has begun a good work in us will complete it. So we will rest in Him, knowing He will guide us through every step of the journey ahead!!

An exhausted mama and Kian who fell asleep over supper!

Again we want to thank each of you who have supported us and followed along with us on our trip! We were so blessed by the blog comments and messages we received! This is the final post of our trip. For those of you who want to know how Kian is adjusting, I plan to do an occasional post in the future. We love each of you!!

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

Thur 11/13 - Packing to Travel Home

The Packing our bags to travel home was the only thing planned for today. How do you help a five year old understand that yes we are going to get on an airplane and go home but not for several hours yet. Multiple times he has put his backpack on and spread his arms like he is flying. He has the concept that we are going to get on a plane....but doesn't understand that we are not leaving for several hours yet. So please pray for patience for each of us on these last couple of days of our journey to bring our dear son home. We leave our hotel at 9:30 pm and arrive in Indy on Friday afternoon.

A not-so-happy boy putting his backpack on.....again.